Chapter 5: The Female Equivalent of Lust: Undue Responsivity

Chapter 5: The Female Equivalent of Lust: Undue Responsivity

     As we consider the “lusts of the flesh”, we are reminded of the carnal desires in males for women. What I am going to explain in this chapter is what a man would tell you if he could jump into your mind and heart. This chapter will perhaps expose some of the worst characteristics of women who are not submitted to Christ.

      What is our response as women to be to this verse?: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt 5:28 We discuss that it is our duty to dress and act in a modest way so as not to provoke the lust of men…as if that were the entire role we played in men’s war with lust. Lust is a topic that is discussed at most men’s conferences and men’s Bible studies because it is a longing that is far too close to home for most of them. When numerous women speak on our response to man’s lust, many of them refer to modesty. And they leave the discussion at that. Yes, God does call us to be modest, but there is something far more dangerous in us regarding the lust of men than our immodesty. This dangerous act in us women is responsivity. Our immodesty is simply a result of our responsivity. Responsivity refers to the immoral response of a woman’s flesh to a man’s portrayed immoral desire for her.

⁶ For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, ⁷ always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 2 Tim 3:6-7

     It is of great importance that we take the meaning of these words to heart. This verse is speaking about ungodly men who take advantage of “weak willed women”, or “gynaikarion” (Grk), which is a contemptuous term for a little woman. The “evil desires”, or “epithymia” (Grk), refer to a desire or craving for all kinds of forbidden lusts. Here we find a dispelling of the notion that women do not lust or are not given to sexual desires.

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,

Nor let her capture you with her eyelids. Prov 6:25

     Why would a woman captivate a man with her eyes? There is a very deep evil is women. There is a type of lust in her just as raging as the man’s sexual desire, but it often quiet. It is not necessarily ambitious and roving, but it is responsive. Her flesh responds to the forbidden lust of men for her. Her response is aroused by any amount of a man’s portrayed lust for her. She glories in a man’s lust for her because the response that it evokes in her gives her deep pleasure…deep forbidden pleasure.

whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things. Phil 3:19

     She regards not the dignity of herself or the men around her, but rather has worshipped the pleasures of sensuality. Her heart is captivated by “epithymia”: evil desires. She lives, acts, moves, and dresses to arouse lust. His lust feeds her responsivity. It is a cycle, dear sisters. It is the very cycle that results in divorce, affairs…destruction of the mind and heart. The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The cycle is equally propelled by man and woman.

     There is ONE way in which responsivity, the arousal of the woman’s flesh from the desire of a man, is a God-given longing. And you have guessed it right, in marriage alone is this response sanctified when she satisfies her husband with faith, love, and thankfulness to God. All other forms of responsivity are evil and worthy of condemnation.

    Firstly we need to acknowledge that we have all been tempted in this way to some degree. There are obvious responses in women as well as more covert responses. Examples of a woman’s responsivity include prolonged thoughts about the actions, words, and looks from men, immoral dreaming, planning dress in order to provoke men, speaking with a deliberately alluring voice, body language that is founded on a inordinate desire for affection, and excessive consciousness of physical femininity in the presence of men. These responses are what we show in response to our acknowledgement of a man’s lust. Examples of the manifestation of the lust of a man include his glance at a woman’s figure, his trying to be physically close to a woman, and worse things.

     Satan is trying to destroy us with the mutual inordinate affections of men and women with one another. We have to stay with our True Lover and the husband that He has given us.

Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him,

That glory may dwell in our land. Ps 85:9

 The Weapon of Complete Dependence

     There is a weapon given to us by the Father that will rescue us from our responsivity (and I know that it would rescue men from their lust). This weapon is to approach temptation with trembling fear and helplessness with a complete dependence on the power of God. Often we have tried to face the battles of temptations and the sinful desires of the flesh in our own efforts. We tried to resist the fiery arrows of the evil one while forfeiting the armor of God. Victory in the battle against the flesh comes from a contrition and brokenness. We must go to the Father and say “We do not know what to do but our eyes are on you” as Jehoshaphat prayed and “Lord, can we defeat them?” as David inquired of God before fighting his battles. We can do nothing unless we remain in Him.

     We cannot even understand that our responsivity and sensuality is wrong apart from Him. We must come to Him as babes that cannot walk, or do any work. He has to feed us, clean us, carry us, protect us; what can we do without Him? As the temptations come to us, we must cry out to God with complete reliance on Him. Were not the Israelite kings victorious when they “completely relied on God.” What do you truly desire in the new heart and spirit that He has given you? Do you even desire God over forbidden pleasure? Our weakness is not simply that we are willing to obey but are unable to do so (though that is often the case), but also that in our hearts WE DESIRE SINFUL PLEASURE. And so we need His deliverance in two ways: Firstly, we need Him to open our eyes to see the end result of sensuality: sin and death. We need for Him to “turn our lovers against us” that we would no longer find pleasure in them. Do you not see God’s grace in allowing His daughter’s godless boyfriend to dessert her? We need Him to open our eyes to see His glory and the joy of the Lord as being exalted and supreme over all else that the devil has to offer us. It is a pity that we find pleasure in the devil’s trap. Secondly, we need His deliverance and power to obey Him and resist the devil. He will flee. We need His help to draw near to Him.

 The Abomination that Causes Desolation

³¹ Forces from him will arise, desecrate the sanctuary fortress, and do away with the regular sacrifice. And they will set up the abomination of

desolation. ³² By smooth words he will turn to godlessness those who act wickedly toward the covenant, but the people who know their God will display strength and take action. Dan 11:31-32

     The abomination that causes desolation refers to an idol (the abomination) that was placed in Temple of God: the very place where God choose to dwell on earth with His people. This abomination causes "shamem", the Hebrew word for desolation: appalling stunning horror. The idols that have captured our hearts often manifest themselves in "spiritual" or "godly" ways. May God help us understand this warning with regard to impurity of the heart. As we live our earthly lives and enter into the world's arena and even the house of God, devils and demons are seeking to steal, kill, and destroy our hearts. Their purpose is to contaminate true devotion to God to make us ineffective and to deceive our hearts. The devil seeks to steal God's glory.

“I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, Nor My praise to graven images. Is 42:8

     The worst place that we can be in is to be ignorant of the impurity of our hearts that leads the world astray while seemingly worshiping God. Where is our heart? Who are we really worshiping in the house of God? We must exalt the Lord our God and worship at His footstool, for He alone is Holy.

For the Lord Most High is to be feared, a great King over all the earth. Ps 47:2

     When we worship God we may be holding onto our sensuality and not giving Him the honor and reverence that is due Him. At all times in your day, we should ask the Spirit to examine our hearts. We truly ought to be devoted to Him, particularly while worshiping. We are highly emotional beings and our heart must be bundled completely in the Living God. 

     Examine the fruit of your worship. When you leave church or Bible studies, what do you think about? Who do you spend time with? Where do you go? What do you read? Who do you talk with? What do you talk about?  Worship is meant to free our souls and lives that we may live pure and Godly lives for our King and Master. The abominations in our lives that cause desolation manifest themselves in several ways. Here are examples: women worshiping God (perhaps on stage) with a sensual dress and attitude bringing immoral longings or horrifying sorrow to the men of the church (I have heard perspectives from many men on this), a woman speaking to a man about Godly matters with a heart that desires something from the man rather than out of a pure heart (there is a way to speak with a pure heart to a man about Godly things, but it comes with a deep humility, brokenness, and understanding of the Spiritual atmosphere around you), and dreaming about your earthly affairs while in the presence of God's people (we rather should have the attitude, "God, I am here for you, only for you. Please give me Your peace of purity!"). I have heard it said that church is the greatest hour of idolatry because people gather, speak, and sing in the Name of God while their hearts are devoted to worldly things.

     ⁷ Because for Your sake I have borne reproach; Dishonor has covered my face. ⁸ I have become estranged from my brothers And an alien to my mother’s sons. ⁹ For zeal for Your house has consumed me, And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me. Ps 69:7-9

A Few Words on Modesty

     Modesty is protection not only for men that they may not be tempted, but equally for us. Our modesty is not only protecting us from man’s lust, but also our responsivity. Just as young women are warned not to ever be alone with a man, a modest woman will protect herself from sensuality. A sensual dress will arouse man’s lust. And, recall that his lust can arouse your responsivity. If you are modest, you will get fewer lustful looks and acts from men. Then you will have much less to feed your mind with. In the Bible, with regard to sexual immorality, God tells us to flee. He does not tell us to stand in the midst of it and fight. Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife. Job vowed never to look lustfully at a woman. Solomon warns to young man to avoid the adulterous woman. Modestly is a way of “fleeing” the evil cycle of men’s lust and your own responsivity.

Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. I Cor 6:18

     An aspect of modesty is that it is hard to make absolute standards. I have observed that standards of modesty depend on the heart condition of the women as well as the physical attributes of the woman. I have seen some women wear certain clothing with a pure attitude and not seem immodest at all. I have seen other women cover themselves much better and still seem sensual. Sensuality is from the heart and manifests itself in dress and in the eyes.

The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. Matt 6

     We must differentiate between God-given beauty and sensuality. God-given beauty is the beauty which glorifies Him and points others to Him. God blessed Job with three beautiful daughters who were like no other women. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and other noble women of the Bible were notably beautiful. The Proverbs 31 woman is described as being “dressed in purple”. The type of beauty that we ought to portray is that of purity, chastity, nobility, and respect. In a sense, I have found that a form of respect for those around us is to dress pleasantly and cleanly, yet not outlandishly or in a way that draws attention to ourselves. We ought to dress in a way that is beautiful and refined, and yet in such a way that we could minister to old needy men whose standards of modesty are quite a bit higher than our culture’s and feel no guilt.

     Our God-given beauty refers to the glory of God which radiates from our faces. There is no beauty in sensuality, simply none at all. But there is a great beauty in the face of a pure woman who has faith in God. Sensuality will literally wash the look of innocent chaste beauty from your face. If you are sensual, a man will never fall in love with you in the traditional sense. He can almost only fall in love with your body.

Fear and Impurity

¹⁶ We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. ¹⁷ By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. I John 4:16-18

     When we fear men, that is, when we are literally afraid of them, we can be sure that our hearts are very impure. God's intention for His daughters is for them to rely on His love for them at all times. When we believe in our hearts that God is strong and that He is loving, there is absolutely nothing left to fear. His strength proves that He is able to protect us from harm and harmful men. His love demonstrates that He is working every event for our Spiritual benefit according to His good purpose as we love Him. (We must of course realize that Spiritual benefit refers to the conforming of ourselves to Jesus Christ. It is common for our Shepherd to do this through difficult circumstances and that is a whole book in itself.) 

     Thus when we fear men, we are either not believing that God loves us or not believing that God is perfect in strength. Or perhaps we do not believe either! The disbelief of either of these two truths shows that someone else has captured our hearts. For certainly the Spirit that He put inside of us in One of power, love, and a sound mind. His Spirit is not a Spirit of the fear of worldly men, circumstances, or things.

just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. I Peter 3:6

     We fear for many different reasons: We may fear because we know the lustful evil in men's hearts and believe that the sting of their sin is more powerful than our God, we know our own sinful hearts and fear men out of our own shame, we do not love our brothers and see them as rivals or oppressors, we are afraid of circumstances which threaten to shatter the idols of our hearts, or we are afraid of pain and distress as though our lives were not secure in our Shepherd's arms

¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, ¹⁵ but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; I Peter 3:14-15

     If Christ is the Lord of our heart, we will have perfect love. Perfect love casts out fear. If we fear anything in the world, then we have not been made perfect in love and someone else is ruling our heart.